Ceci n'est pas une martini.

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A French friend once told me a martini could only be called so if it consists of vodka or gin, and vermouth. Anything more than that, she said, is not a martini. As Margritte pointed out in the late 1920's, we would be lying if we called something that may not be, fact. This is a collection of my very own original creations.
Call them what you like.

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Vodka

Ranch dip powder

You will want to start by separating the ranch powder. The dip contains lots of different dried vegetables and spices so you need to ensure you are only using the fine powder. I use a sink strainer. It is the perfect grade of mesh and sits perfectly in a mixing cup or a martini glass. Measure out about 2 tbsp of the sifted powder and mix with about 5 tbsp water. Allow mixture to chill in the refrigerator.

Combine vodka, ranch mixture, and ice in a shaker and give it a vigorous shaking. Garnish with a perfectly baked chicken nugget. The cool smooth herbiness mixes perfectly with the sharp vodka. The garnish is the perfect match to the salty martini.