Ceci n'est pas une martini.

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A French friend once told me a martini could only be called so if it consists of vodka or gin, and vermouth. Anything more than that, she said, is not a martini. As Margritte pointed out in the late 1920's, we would be lying if we called something that may not be, fact. This is a collection of my very own original creations.
Call them what you like.

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The Piccata

Vodka

XXL capers

Olive juice

1 lemon

1/2 chicken bouillon cube

If you have chicken broth, that can be substituted for the bouillon cube if you like. If using the cubes, use a micro-plane to turn half of the cube into a powder. You need to make about 2 tbsp of broth. Chill this mixture and add to the shaker with the vodka, 2 tbsp of caper juice, 2 tbsp of olive juice, the juice of 1 lemon, and ice. Shake and pour into a chilled martini glass, with skewered caper berries.

The bright capers and tangy lemon compliment the smooth subtle chicken flavor to replicate this faux-Italian dish to perfection. You will be amazed by the taste and smell of this martini. Why eat when you can drink? Move over Teresa Giudice, this is how to be a real “skinny Italian”.