Ceci n'est pas une martini.

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A French friend once told me a martini could only be called so if it consists of vodka or gin, and vermouth. Anything more than that, she said, is not a martini. As Margritte pointed out in the late 1920's, we would be lying if we called something that may not be, fact. This is a collection of my very own original creations.
Call them what you like.

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Tuna Martini

Vodka

Celery

Pickle juice

Relish

Canned tuna

Lemon

Powdered Ranch dip

Black pepper

Rim the glass by moistening with lemon juice and rotating the rim in the powdered dip mix. Using a spoon and gently edging the glass allows you to use less salt/dip/sugar. Place in the freezer or refrigerator if desired.

Roughly chop the celery and place in the shaker with coarsely ground black pepper. With a muddler, pulverize the celery into a semi-fine mash. Add the vodka and shake. Strain into a glass container and set aside. Rinse the shaker and add the vodka back into the shaker. Add the juice of 1/2 a lemon, 1 tbsp reserved tuna liquid from the can, 1 tbsp pickle juice, and 1 tsp relish. Add ice. Shake. Strain into the glass. Garnish with a bagel chip.

The only “trend” out there worse than cupcakes is infusing. Isn’t new. Isn’t cool. Trendy never is. Anyone can put a grilled cheese sandwich in a container of vodka, strain out the chunks, throw it in a glass, and charge $15. Creating a martini that uses unique ingredients in order to recreate taste sensations is much more interesting. My next martini won’t be the Thanksgiving Dinner Martini where I put an entire Thanksgiving meal in vodka until Christmas.

Lucky Duck

Vodka

Duck sauce

Hot peppers (mini)

Soy sauce

Gelatin (1 packet)

Lime

Sriracha

To create the garnish, start by blooming the gelatin in 1/4 cup of chilled soy sauce and 1/4 cup vodka. Heat 1/4 cup of soy sauce and 2 tbsp of water to boiling and add to the chilled soy sauce. Allow to sit for 5 minutes and transfer to the refrigerator to cool for about 15 minutes.

Slice the top of the peppers to allow for coring. With a pairing knife, carefully slice the seeds and membranes out of the pepper. These will need to sit upright, so find a vessel capable of supporting them as they set. I find that a Pyrex ice cube tray works best. Place in the refrigerator to set for about 45 minutes.

Slice peppers into 1-1/2 inch slices carefully with a sharp knife. Skewer. Set aside.

For the martini: In a shaker, combine vodka, about 1 1/2 tbsp duck sauce, juice of one lime, 1/2 tsp Sriracha and ice. Shake. Pour. 

Simple/clean. Sweet/sour. Harmonious.

 

The Minnie

Vodka

Red wine vinegar

White wine vinegar

Whole smoked oysters

1 shallot

cracked black pepper

Sea salt

Tabasco

For the martini: Combine 1 finely minced shallot with about 1 tbs each of the red wine vinegar and white wine vinegar. Add whatever 1 lemon yields, along with 1 tsp each of black pepper and sea salt. Add in a few dashes of Tabasco to taste.

To prepare the garnish, remove a single oyster and rinse thoroughly. Place in the bottom of a chilled martini glass. Shake the martini ingredients over ice and pour into a strainer (mine is a stainless steel sink strainer that works perfectly). To finish, float a few small dices of shallot.

Mignonette has meaning by baby name as “delicate.” The smooth vodka calms the vinegars while the shallot takes the scent of the ingredients airborne. Delicate harmony. 

Cucumber-Water Martini

Vodka

Cucumber

Lemon

Fresh dill

Smoked salmon

To make the cucumber water, seed and rough chop the cucumber. Pulse in a blender or food processor with the juice of 1 lemon and about a tbsp of fresh dill. Season with salt and pepper. Strain the mixture and allow the water to drip into a shallow bowl. This will make more than enough for two martinis.

Combine about 2 tbsp of the cucumber water with vodka and shake with ice. Pour into a chilled glass.

To make the garnish, slice a thin piece of cucumber and roll with the smoked salmon. Allow the garnish to sit in the drink to add a slight flavor to the martini.

Curry Me Home

Vodka

Coconut nectar

Sriracha

1 lime

Curry powder

Zest one lime with a micro-plane before juicing it.Put half of the zest in a shaker along with 1/2 cup of coconut nectar, 1 tsp of Sriracha, 1/2 tsp curry powder, vodka and ice. Shake, pour into chilled glass. Finish with a few drops of chili oil.

Quiet your fear or disgust of curry. Chances are, if this is your second visit to thisisnotamartini you are somewhat adventurous (or think you are). This is a must-try. Prepare to be curried home after your inevitable third.